KPTech enjoy a little humour in our day to day operations.. As we come across amusing “geek” quotes or jokes, we’ll share them! (Apologies if the humour is a little IT specific at times!)
“640k ought to be enough for anybody” – Bill Gates 1981 (although he has denied ever saying this) – Typical PC’s supplied these days have 8Gb or 8192k of memory, and sometimes even that is not enough.. a lot has changed since 1981!
“Bill Gates is a very rich man today … and do you want to know why? The answer is one word: versions” – Dave Barry – American Author and Pulitzer Prize winner as a humorist.
ERP project delivery.
A ERP Project Manager is the one who thinks 9 women can deliver a baby in 1 month.
An Onsite Coordinator is the one who thinks 1 woman can deliver 9 babies in 1 month.
A Developer is the one who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver 1 baby.
A Marketing Manager is the one who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.
A Client is the one who doesn’t know why he wants a baby.
A Tester is the one who always tells his wife that this is not the right baby.
One day, a boy, raised in a computer-professional (IT) family, asks his Dad, “Daddy, how was I born?”
His Dad thinks for a while, sighs and replies, “Ah, my son, I guess one day you would have to find out anyway! Well, you see, your mother and I first got together in a chat room on MSN. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.
We entered into a secure folder, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, but it was too late to hit the Delete button.
Six weeks later, your Mom sent me an instant message saying that her operating system was showing signs of unauthorized program activity from a self extracting file which had implanted itself in her operating system.
Then, nine months later, a little Pop-Up appeared and said: ‘You’ve Got Mail’!”
Programmers – gotta luv ’em
A programmer’s wife asks him to pick up some groceries on his way home from work. He asks what she needs, and she says to pick up a gallon of milk, and if they have eggs, get a dozen. When he returns home, his wife asks why he brought home 12 gallons of milk, and he responded that they did indeed have eggs.
A computer engineer, a systems analyst, and a programmer were driving down a mountain when the brakes gave out. They screamed down the mountain, gaining speed, and finally managed to grind to a halt, more by luck than anything else, just inches from a thousand-foot drop to jagged rocks. They all got out of the car.
The computer engineer said, I think I can fix it.
The systems analyst said, No, I think we should take it into town and have a specialist look at it.
The programmer said, I think we should push it back up the hill and see if it does it again.